The 12 Rules of Life · How We Forgive
Mercy
"We are recipients of infinite mercy — therefore we give it without limit."
How We Forgive
Mercy
"We are recipients of infinite mercy — therefore we give it without limit."
Mercy is not weakness — it is the most powerful force in a family. It is the decision to absorb pain rather than repay it, to restore rather than retaliate, and to love people beyond what they deserve. The Slifka family practices mercy because we have received it. These twelve principles define how we extend grace, forgive freely, and keep our hearts free from the poison of bitterness.
The 12 Codes of Mercy
1. Forgiveness is Non-Negotiable
We forgive because we have been forgiven. Forgiveness is not a feeling — it is a decision. We release the debt others owe us because Christ released ours.
"Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you."
— Colossians 3:13
2. Short Accounts
We do not let offenses accumulate. We address conflict quickly, honestly, and with the goal of restoration. Bitterness begins when we delay what forgiveness demands.
"Do not let the sun go down on your anger."
— Ephesians 4:26
3. No Weaponizing the Past
Once forgiven, the offense is buried. We do not exhume past failures to win arguments or inflict pain. Mercy buries what it forgives and does not dig it up.
"Love keeps no record of wrongs."
— 1 Corinthians 13:5
4. Compassion for the Struggling
We extend grace to those who are weak, broken, or failing. We remember that we were once in need of the same mercy we are now called to give.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
— Ephesians 4:32
5. Reconciliation over Avoidance
We pursue restored relationship rather than comfortable distance. Mercy is active — it moves toward the person who has hurt us, not away from them.
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone."
— Matthew 18:15
6. Mercy without Enabling
We extend grace without removing consequences. Mercy does not excuse sin — it offers restoration while truth holds the line. We love people enough to be honest with them.
"Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ."
— Ephesians 4:15
7. Seventy Times Seven
We do not put a limit on forgiveness. When someone wrongs us repeatedly, we do not keep score — we keep forgiving. This is not naivety; it is obedience.
"I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times."
— Matthew 18:22
8. Blessing Those Who Hurt Us
We go beyond forgiving — we actively seek the good of those who have wronged us. This is the radical mercy of the gospel made visible in a family.
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them."
— Romans 12:14
9. Mercy in Discipline
Even in correction, we are merciful. We discipline with love, not rage. We correct to restore, not to punish. The goal of every rebuke is a healed relationship.
"The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."
— Hebrews 12:6
10. Receiving Mercy Gracefully
We accept forgiveness from others without false guilt or self-punishment. To refuse mercy is a form of pride. We receive it humbly and let it heal us.
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
— Romans 8:1
11. Mercy Toward Ourselves
We do not hold ourselves to a standard of perfection that God does not require. We repent, receive forgiveness, and move forward — without shame, without self-condemnation.
"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities."
— Psalm 103:10
12. A Culture of Grace
We build a home where it is safe to fail, safe to confess, and safe to be imperfect. Our family is not a performance stage — it is a grace-filled community of people being transformed together.
"Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more."
— Romans 5:20